Dark YA Romance
𝐀𝐧 𝐞𝐦𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥 𝐫𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐫𝐜𝐨𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐥𝐨𝐫𝐞𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐝𝐚𝐫𝐤𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐜𝐨𝐫𝐧𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐬𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐬...𝐈𝐟 𝐈 𝐅𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐬𝐡𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮, 𝐛𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐤 𝐲𝐨𝐮, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐬𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮.
SYNOPSIS:
How do you survive when your best friend takes his own life?
Khloe has no idea how she'll live without her best friend by her side. Carter was not the suicidal type, and Khloe can't understand his leaving her so abruptly. When she finds Carter's journal, it's a secret portal holding all his deepest secrets. As Khloe unravels the hidden darkness of her best friend's life—hoping to find what drove him to suicide—she struggles without him as she stumbles back into the treacherous world she'd left behind. Prescription drugs, sex, and the tip of a needle to feel her pain for her.
Her friend Ava tries to reason with her, but the more Khloe discovers Carter's life, the less she understands. When Khloe almost goes over the edge, a handsome paramedic, Ty, saves her life and seems intent on saving her heart along with it. But the shadows that chased Carter are hot on her heels, and unless she can find the peace that eluded him, she might follow Carter past the last page.
EXCERPT:
I clambered to my feet again, unsteady, trying in vain to support myself on the walls and counter tops. I made another unsuccessful attempt to get through the door. My vision was blurry as I lunged at him, kicking and screaming. He caught me in a tight embrace, his arms around my midsection. I struggled against him, shrieking something that not even I could make out. Jay murmured something in my ear as he held me, but I couldn't focus on him or his words.
"I have to go!" I screamed. "I'm leaving, Jay, and you can't stop me god damnit! Leave me the fuck alone!"
At that moment, there was a knock on the door, and Jay, still holding onto me, reached forward and opened it.
"What in the hell are you doing here?" I cried, spinning around to face our visitor. Ty came through the door, turning his back to me as he shut it behind him and clicked the deadbolt back into place.
"I'm sorry, Khloe," Jay said. "I figured he could help." He released me then, and I was just about to reel my arm back to hit him when Ty stepped between Jay and me, catching my wrists in his hands. Another wave of nausea hit me, and I doubled over, still being held by Ty, and puked up yellow bile all over Jay's spotless carpet.
"I'm so sorry." I fell to my knees, crying, shaking, unable to catch my breath. My chest felt like someone was squeezing the air from it, stealing every precious breath away from me. The more I struggled to breathe, the harder it was to get any air. The pounding in my head intensified. I squeezed my eyes shut, wondering if this would actually kill me. Right then, death sounded like the better option.
"Hang in there, babe," Jay said softly. I watched him lean back against the door, exhausted as he watched me.
"I need to get out," I whispered. "I just need to get out." I looked desperately between them, fingers numb with cold, sweat sticking to the back of my neck and under my hair. Ty sat down on the floor next to me. He reached out, wrapping his arms around my body. For a second, I fought him, I yelled, I pushed him away. But when he didn't let go, I finally allowed myself to fall into him, shaking, freezing cold, and boiling hot all at the same time.
"I'm sorry, Khloe," he said. He pulled me against him and kissed my forehead. His cool hands brushed the sticky, wet hair back from my face. I leaned over Jay's living-room waste basket to throw up but could only gag and dry heave. There was nothing left in my stomach.
"Please just kill me." Tears slipped from my eyes, soaking my skin with moisture. I liked my dry, cracked lips and buried my tear-soaked face into the front of Ty's shirt. He rested his chin on the top of my head and said nothing. My ears rang, face and hands now numb and tingly, as if my body was trying to fall asleep. I closed my eyes and forced myself to listen to Ty's heartbeat against my skin. "Still want to be with me?" I asked weakly. "Even after all of this?"
"Every moment of every day," Ty said, and he looked down at me, his eyes meeting my own as he started to rock. I closed my eyes again, exhausted, hurting, sick. I let him hold me as the pain faded and the world began to put itself back together—little by little—piece by piece, until the glowing light somewhere miles ahead in the darkness of the tunnel began to shine.
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